On dealing with narcissistic sociopaths

“My parents also made terrible mistakes with me and were quite tyrannic at times. Some of their mistakes delayed some very important and crucial factors in my career and professional life and made everything a lot harder for me, now that I’m an adult. My dad, even though I’m getting a masters degree, *still* mocks me for wanting to study and he himself never even went to college. When I was a kid, around 10, he said “I was reading too fast” and instead of giving me even more books, I was forbidden to read. And was that same prohibition that made me become a librarian. Today I can only pity him and his blatant ignorance. I wanted to drive, he also never let me. I always wanted to ride a motorbike and was emotionally blackmailed and had to hear something like “you’ll only ride a motorbike over my dead body”. My dad is 70 now, I’m 33 and this year I will buy and ride a motorbike and I really don’t care if he dies because of it. It’s not my fucking problem anymore. As a first child, now I know that parents – all of them, no excuses – really suck at parenting. I can be 100% sure that all around the world they are tottally obnoxious and have absolutely no idea on parenting and or how to raise anyone. They always raise someone to be on their standards, never to be better than them – especially if your’re a girl. Now that I’m grown up I can see my parents for who they really are: teenagers. They are tottally spoiled, stubborn, petty, mean, also make terrible mistakes and can be deeply flawed in a lot of aspects I never imagined and sometimes I really wonder laughing out loud: “Wow… How did I survive this fucking mess and managed to become a decent person?”. But the thing is: they’re just humans. And it’s ok to get really tired of all their bullshit and personal drama. I got really tired of all the emotional blackmailing, the blaming, their neediness. I don’t care being the black sheep of the family anymore, I really couldn’t care less that my parents nowadays are afraid of me or what I have to say: in this case, it is definitely better to be feared than loved. And it’s a choice. It’s horrible to say, to feel and to recognise this, but it’s always our choice to overcome them. And it’s not an easy thing to do, ever. And it’s always pretty harsh to feel compassion for people who, sometimes, were so despicable to us… But today I say can feel it. But I’m surely better off living very far away from both of them.”

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