If it’s not grandiosity, then what is narcissism?

Shame over guilt; rage over anger; masturbation over sex; envy over greed; your future over your past but her past over her future… Imagine what you look like to another person.  Now recall what you looked like in the mirror this morning– that’s really what they see.  They are making instantaneous judgments about your personality based on that mirror image.  They are hearing your voice like it comes form a recording, not as you hear from your mouth.  You’re the only person who experiences yourself as you do. The narcissist feels unhappy because he thinks his life isn’t as it should be, or things are going wrong;  but all of those feelings find origin in frustration, a specific frustration: the inability to love the other person. He’s a man in a glass box, unable to connect.  He thinks the problem is people don’t like him, or not enough, so he exerts massive energy into the creation and maintenance of an identity: if they think of me as X… But that attempt is always futile, not because you can’t trick the other person– you can, for an entire lifetime, it’s quite easy.  But even then, the man in the box is still unsatisfied, still frustrated, because no amount of identity maintenance will break that glass box.

(…)

Narcissism has a fail-safe: since you know you tricked them to get them, you can’t believe them when they say they love you.  The fact that she loves you means she’s not smart enough to know  what love is.  That’s why you default to measurable quantities of love: how fast did she get into bed with the past guys?

Just because she thinks you’re awesome, doesn’t mean you can really feel her.

The Last Psychiatrist

&

If This Is One of The Sexiest Things You’ve Ever Seen, You May Be a Narcissist

 

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