I know what it is to be broken and be bold
Tell you that my silver is gold
Though we’re much too old for make believe
And I know what it’s like to behold and not be held
Funny how a stomach unfed
Seems satisfied ‘cause it’s swell and swollen
And you caught me
Shootin’ cross the sky like a star
But nobody told me
To never let it get too far
You see my silhouette, so you’re standing scared of me

Can I tell you a secret?

My wings are made of plastic, my wings are made of plastic
My wings are made of plastic, my wings are made of plastic
Oh, my wings are made of plastic, my wings are made of plastic
My wings are made of plastic, my wings are made of plastic
My wings are made of plastic, my wings are made of plastic
My wings are made of plastic, my wings are made of plastic
My wings are made up
And so am I

Ela me chamou pra jantar hoje, recusei, disse que estava sem dinheiro e estou mesmo. Falou sobre uma viagem pra fora, Irlanda, visitar uma amiga em comum. Concordei, acho que é isso mesmo. Nunca fui, não sei se iria. Não nesses termos. Falou que faria o exato oposto do que sempre fez. Achei bom. Espero que assim o faça, espero que isso resolva algo, embora acredite que não.

No fim do dia outra amiga me manda uma fotografia de mulheres ajudando uma outra mulher durante uma crise. De pânico, talvez. De tentativa de suicídio. Não sei bem, não entendi bem ao certo, não quis ler. Achei mórbido para um fim de sexta-feira, que costuma ser um horário animador. Questionei. Diz que achou interessante a história de pessoas, mulheres, que se apóiam. Me disse em seguida que passou mal e está ficando doente.

Saquei.

As pessoas não querem ser ajudadas. O que eu posso fazer pelas pessoas é limitado. É possível ser muito miserável morando em um país de primeiro mundo. É possível ser profundamente miserável tendo muito dinheiro. Essas não são boas respostas. Certa vez um conhecido me disse que eu pareço constantemente viver numa  prisão. As respostas e – principalmente – todas as perguntas estão aqui dentro e eu tenho pleno acesso a elas.

Possuo uma porção de super poderes. Consigo respirar. Consigo colocar minha cabeça no travesseiro e dormir com o coração em tranquilidade, em que pouca coisa ou nada me pese. Sou capaz de viver um dia de cada vez, deixando o passado onde ele pertence e sem pretender prever futuro algum. Nunca fiz uma viagem ao exterior – mas pro interior já fiz várias. Não tenho nada que possa chamar de meu e tudo o que possuo caberia numa mala.

Não sou livre, mas me sinto.

O que, exatamente, importa? E para quem?

I am fire I am damage in the making
I am an army set out to control your every ticking
I am a giant stepping on the tiny world you live in
And you shake and you shiver
As the roof is coming down
And the walls grow thinner

Shadowshow darkens the river
Turn hearts into stone
We run we run terrified what have we done
Is this how it goes
Silence grows loudly bigger
It’s heartrending crow
You run you run terrified what have you done
Is this how it goes
It’s how it goes

Mass confusion never been so excited
What your hearts felt for us was evidently unrequited
And by the sea we’re laying down our hopes
You will conquer all
Your rise our fall
And by the sea I’m laying down my hopes
We will conquer all
Our rise your fall

And I shake and I shiver
As I cut through skin and bone
Can you solve the riddle
Shadowshow darkens the river
Turn hearts into stone
We run we run terrified what have we done
Is this how it goes

Silence grows loudly bigger
It’s heartrending crow
You run you run terrified what have you done
Is this how it goes
It’s how it goes
I am fire I am damage in the making
I am an army set out to control your every ticking

I’ll wait for you
To make it true
I take your bones away
Here on your last day

And evoke
When I get evoked

Innocent like a lamb for me
You can’t feel the danger
You can’t see

 

Remember the dream
Remember the dream
Remember the dream
Remember the thirst, a hunger for more
Remember the future, the simple hope
Remember the dream, always rising
Remember the future, true and pure
This is not the ending
Moving forth without a reason
Find another kind of truth
Try expanding the horizon
With our heads into the blue
Floating freely, use no pressure
Hear beyond this frequency
And my skin burns from the fire
As it flares inside of me
And if I wake, it doesn’t matter
If reality’s a dream
If these thoughts are all we have
Then the future’s still unseen
Remember the thirst, a hunger for more
Remember the future, the simple hope
Remember the dream, always rising
(Remember the dream, remember the dream)
(Remember the dream, remember the dream)
Remember the future, true and pure
(Remember the dream, remember the dream)
(Remember the dream)
This is not the ending
Everybody has them
(Remember the dream, remember the dream)
So you’re lost in this dimension
Seeking recipes of youth
Solve the riddle, live forever
Watch it over in review
No solutions, no real motion
Licking sadness from your cheek
And my fingers turn to ashes
As they brush against your weakness
And I hate that I can’t help them
That it’s fact, not fantasy
It’s these thoughts, they’re all we have
But the future’s still unseen
(It’s fact, not fantasy
Everybody has them
Ah
Remember the dream, remember the dream)
Remember the thirst, a hunger for more
Remember the future, the simple hope
Remember the dream, always rising
Remember the future, true and pure
This is not the ending
Remember the dream, always rising
Remember the future, true and pure
This is not the ending
Remember the dream, remember the dream
Remember the dream, remember the dream
Remember the dream, remember the dream
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